


Whispers in the Dark

by Namacub95



Series: This World Isn't Like The Songs [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Circle Mage Bethany Hawke, Dragon Age Kink Meme, F/M, POV Male Character, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 08:00:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16013690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namacub95/pseuds/Namacub95
Summary: When Cullen first saw Bethany, she was a shy thing trailing behind her sister like a shadow.AU - Cullen and Bethany are in a secret relationshipDragon Age Kink Meme





	Whispers in the Dark

When Cullen first saw Bethany, she was a shy thing trailing behind her sister like a shadow. He supposed that he couldn’t blame her for that, Kirkwall was a city known to be cruel to its mages and being an apostate was almost a death sentence in itself. She shrunk away from him when she saw him watching her and her sister; as if afraid he would be able to smell magic from his post. He knew that Hawke’s younger sister was an apostate, nearly every Templar knew, but because Hawke was making a name for herself then the apostates she kept for company were untouchable for now. It made Meredith furious, especially when Hawke would swan in and out of the Gallows as she pleased.

Not that he cared much anymore. He’d given up caring long before he was ever transferred across to Kirkwall. He went to the small chapel inside the Gallows every night to pray to the Maker and Andraste that his heart would once again be filled with purpose, but none seemed to come to him. Perhaps they sensed his growing disillusionment and decided he was unworthy to be sent down any divine help. Maybe he had become tainted after his ordeal inside Kinloch and so the Maker and His Bride had turned their gazes from him in disgust. He wouldn’t have blamed them for that.

Every time Hawke came to the Gallows, Bethany would be with her, whether they had come from rumours about abominations, blood magic, apostates, or renegade Templars. Meredith always shoved them off onto him, as if she knew of his wavering beliefs and wanted to stick him with the worst jobs she could imagine. That was the only reason he saw them as often as he did as they seemed to run every odd job going in Kirkwall to make coin and the Templar Order paid mercenaries well to do the messier jobs that no regular member would be caught dead doing.

She was a pretty thing, he had no shame in admitting that, but she was an apostate and it was his duty to round mages like her up and keep them safely locked away from ordinary people. A part of him was reminded of another young mage he had known, another young pretty girl, but thinking of her only brought a renewed stab of pain. They looked so similar too, the same dark hair, the same pale skin, and the same warm brown eyes. She could have been her twin. Perhaps that’s why Cullen avoided her as much as she tried to avoid him whenever their paths crossed.

It was best if Cullen never thought about Caitlin Amell or Bethany Hawke. He’d had enough pain to last him several lifetimes from one of those women and he didn’t need the other to remind him of it. It was better to let the past die alongside the woman and try to make the most of what life he had left now in Kirkwall. But sometimes, when he spied Bethany smiling and laughing with her sister, he feels his heart twist for a woman who used to smile and laugh with him just like that.

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They bring her to the Gallows eventually; Cullen knew it would be inevitable no matter how much he wished it wasn’t. No one, not even Hawke, could escape Meredith’s grasp forever. In fact, it was cowardly to wait until they knew Hawke had left Kirkwall to finally swoop in and retrieve Bethany. They knew if Hawke was there then she would have stopped them. But she wasn’t, and so Bethany is brought in against her will.

They initially lock her in the cold cells in the lowest part of the Gallows. Down there, there is no light and sea water seeps into the cells when the tide is in to cover the prisoners up to their knees and sometimes up to their waists if there is a storm. They are the dankest, most dismal part of the whole Circle. They are designed to break those that get thrown inside just like the Tevinter slaves of old and all the apostates are thrown in there until Meredith decides their fate. Either they will be freed to join the other mages in the Circle or they will be executed as maleficar. Cullen can’t help but think of Bethany, scared and alone in the darkness waiting for her fate.

He can’t bear the thought of her down in the darkness alone. He’s not entirely sure why but the flicker of a memory of another woman who looked just like her enters into his mind very briefly. At dinner that night he steals some rolls, cheese, and a small tankard of ale from the tables and makes his way down into the depths. It won’t be much comfort, Cullen is sure, but it is better than being hungry. The guard steps aside easily when he tells him he can go and have his own dinner, in fact he is eager to be up the narrow flight of stairs and into the torchlight. Cullen had expected more of a resistance but apparently it was only slightly less miserable being down here as a guard as it was to be down here as a prisoner. Again, not that it is much comfort for those imprisoned.

He can hear the rattle of chains in the dimness and he gives a tentative call:

“Bethany?”

A sniff answers his call and the rattling of chains. In the dimness, he can see the shadow of her in the cell and he moves cautiously forwards, thankful for the small mercy that the floor is dry and not wet with sea spray. She presses herself against the bars, her knuckles white where they grip the rusting iron, and he can see she is both exhausted and terrified, but he can’t tell which the stronger emotion at that particular moment is.

“Cullen?” she breathes his name, he didn’t even think she knew his name “Maker, don’t tell me she’s decided to execute me!”

“No. No one’s going to execute you.” _yet_ , he doesn’t add. Meredith sees blood mages and corruption everywhere, but he believes Bethany innocent of those crimes at least “I’ve brought you some food.”

She reaches through the bars for the small portions he’s managed to get to her. She’s clearly restraining herself from wolfing the whole lot down at once, like she hasn’t been fed in a week and knowing Meredith that might be true. He’s heard horror stories of mages being starved to death in confinement, but he hopes that’s all they are; stories. He’s suddenly certain that Bethany won’t die down here. Not if he can do anything about it.

“Please.” She grips his gauntleted hand before he can get up to leave her in peace. Her brown eyes are wild and desperate “Can you get a message to my sister? Please, Cullen? She’ll be so worried about me when she gets back and my mother…” she trails off for a second, her voice hitching like she is going to cry but she steadies herself again “I just need you to tell her I’m alright. Tell her not to try anything. I’ll be okay.”

But she clearly wasn’t alright, and Cullen didn’t need to be a genius to see that. Meredith could still decide to kill her to spite Hawke for flaunting the law for so long. Still, she was trying to be brave and he respected that, so he nodded to her request.

“I’ll tell her.” He promised.

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They don’t execute Bethany in the end, and Cullen is very glad about that, but instead release her to join the other apprentice mages in the Circle. It is a blessing and a curse because whilst they don’t kill her immediately she is still not safe, and he worries that Meredith will change her mind again and order her killed.

Cullen finds more excuses to visit the apprentice quarters. Bethany seems accept his companionship. They don’t speak openly because Cullen knows that someone will say something and that means that Meredith will eventually hear of it. Instead, they find themselves in the library simply enjoying the quiet and the peace of each other’s company. Sometimes, if they are truly alone, they will talk, and Bethany seems to enjoy talking to him.

The day she finds out he too is a native of Ferelden she seems to light up.

“Whereabouts are you from? Denerim? I lived in a little village called Lothering.” She told him, her head down and appearing to read a book just in case someone was to appear through a door.

He chuckles “Honnleath. It’s in the middle of nowhere. At least Lothering is—was on the map.”

He knows it’s foolish and dangerous to grow close to a mage, but Maker help him he finds he wants to grow close to Bethany. He misses having someone who could brighten his day with just a smile. He misses having easy companionship with someone in the Circle besides those who’ve also sworn a vow before the Chantry.

He wonders if it’s because Bethany reminds him of Caitlin Amell and it would be unfair to push a ghost onto a living woman. Everything had ended so suddenly between him and Caitlin with so much left unsaid and undone. Bethany looks like her, that is true, and he knows there is some distant relation because Hawke’s mother was once an Amell too, Bethany had told him so. But Bethany is not her. Bethany is quiet and sweet like she was, but he never knew if Caitlin had the steel that Bethany seems to possess, the ability to face uncertainty and fear head on. He respects that. He admires that.

Bethany will have to undergo the Harrowing eventually, it is something no mage can avoid unless they choose to be made Tranquil or it’s clear that they cannot master their magic safely. Cullen thinks she will pass easily. After all, an apostate would know already about demons and their temptations and it is clear that Bethany once had a teacher; she seems to excel faster than any apprentice Cullen had ever seen before.

Still Bethany shakes and trembles in the moments they manage to snatch together. The urge to hold her and whisper reassurances to her is strong, so very strong, but he forces himself to back away. She is so small compared to him, her head just grazing his shoulders, he could easily fit around her and shield her. But he forces himself to comfort her with just gentle words instead. 

He wants to do more but he is a Templar and she is a mage. Some things are not meant to be.

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To be honest, he expects the punch to the jaw as soon as he entered the mansion that Hawke now claimed as her home, but it didn’t make it any less pleasant to receive. The fire in her blue eyes was unlike anything he had ever seen. This wasn’t just anger, this was a fury born of worry that only a close family member could elicit. The two sisters had always seemed very close to each other, Bethany trailing wherever Hawke went like a shadow, but this is the first time he really realises just how dear to each other they are.

“You bastard—” Hawke begins, Cullen can feel a rant incoming and so quickly raises his hands in case of more flying fists and interjects

“I brought you a message from Bethany. She asked me personally to give it to you.”

That stills her, at least for the moment, and Cullen breathes out a small sigh of relief at that. He honestly didn’t want a fight, he just wanted to honour the promise he had made to Bethany in her dank cell. He had snuck down some ink and a scrap of paper and held a torch for Bethany to see as she had scribbled a hasty note. He’d kept it hidden in the breastplate of his armour until he could find a day to slip away to Hightown.

Hawke snatches it from his fingers and reads it carefully, occasionally glancing between her sister’s words and him. Cullen doesn’t know what it says but Hawke doesn’t attack him again and instead asks him if he would take a message back with him to Bethany. Cullen is already breaking the rules just taking the message out of the Gallows. Mages are allowed to receive letters, but they are not allowed to send them. He agrees easily enough regardless because he thinks that any scrap from the outside world would make Bethany smile and she has such a pretty smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt from the Dragon Age Kink Meme: https://dragonage-kink.dreamwidth.org/91059.html?thread=366067635


End file.
